Carry on

So having made one life decision, another one has presented itself. Just as I made the decision in my head to come back, two amazing opportunities cropped up. Ironically neither result from the proverbial career irons I shoved in the fire (see earlier post Why?), but both fill me with an excitement and passion that I haven’t felt for a long time without being strapped to a snowboard.

They are similar in that they relate to climate change and how it can change the way we do things for the better. But they are both very different in terms of working environment, culture and future directions. They both tick the boxes of contribution to something meaningful and personal/professional development.

One is at the nexus of climate change, business and the citizen-consumer. Hopefully I’m not breaking any confidentiality agreements, but it is in a large retailer – a very large one, dealing mainly with UK food, but expanding internationally and in non-food (specifically finance). If I was to re-enter the corporate world, this would be the organisation, both in terms of scale of impact, culture and board-level leadership. The job has a real immediacy to it. It is a fast-paced world, where my actions would have real direct implications for hundreds of thousands of people around the world. The job is about addressing climate change in a commercial environment. For me, it would be a very challenging context – I would be surrounded by people who are not necessarily climate-oriented or interested in climate change for the same reasons as I am, but that’s what makes this role absolutely at the heart of handling climate change in the real world.

The other, just as fair, is on another new frontier – the intersection between climate change, conflict and governance. Understanding how climate change links to conflict and using that to build peace – in particular, supporting inclusive, participatory approaches to decision-making as a central part of the solution to both challenges. Working in a very influential and well respected international NGO, with people who are passionate about the issues, have jobs driven by larger purpose and take time to consider the complexity of the problems. The role would be really engaging with the complexity of all three problems, through advocacy and direct contributions to real-world, on-the-ground projects in some very interesting and demanding places. It would have a longer-term, strategic bent, allowing me to grow into other areas that I care about and again, would be directly at the heart of my interest in climate change,

Perhaps it comes back to the question of contribution. I feel like I have so much to give and have been trying to find where to give it, feeling that I just don’t fit in the current job market – now suddenly there are two opportunities that fit me perfectly. I want to contribute to the changes that I feel are happening in the world, but where am I best placed to do it? But perhaps more importantly, which is right for me as an individual? My mind tells me that there is no such thing as a wrong decision, but I feel at a fork in the road and choosing a path is never simple.

It’s made me think back to the first post I wrote about heading to New Zealand (Thanks Bob – the themes of that poem keep coming back to me!). “What am I hoping to get out of it? Space. Time. Freedom to think about what actually matters to me, about how I’d like to be remembered and about what the hell to do with myself and the precious gift of life.” I’m beginning to feel like maybe I’m getting a handle on those questions, and although the decision may be hard, what’s important is that either of these jobs will help me along my road less travelled.

So it got me thinking about how I could use one – I’d love to get one or something similar. Then thought about getting the lens for my digital cam and found a few pages on Digital Holga. Definitely one for the future, but then I thought I’d try using Photoshop to create a similar effect.

The beauty and appeal of shooting with Holgas is that the effects aren’t uniform, adding an element of chance – serendipitous photography. Anyway, that got me thinking and there’s a deep and meaningful spiritual commentary about the nature of photography, mixing modernity with zen and serendipity not being mutually exclusive of technology, but at the end of the day, I made some pretty pictures, so here’s my Holga-nised take on some of my Japan photos!

Sapporo Subway

M in Sapporo snow

Hanazono 308 Building - I overlayed another photo to simulate a double exposure

I suppose I should explain this whole Japan thing really. Having been back in the UK for 18 months, trying to lead a ‘normal’ life, I finally had enough of office life, for a whole host of reasons. One way to sum it up is that I feel out of sync with the conventional workplace. A square peg in a grid of round holes. Stifled. But the most simple explanation is that it was making me miserable. Deeply so. So I’m leaving that life, sort of. I am torn between two worlds – one of trying to make a difference, change the world or whatever; the other about following my heart and seeking personal fulfillment. Is it possible to find a balance?

For me, the only course of action was to do something that makes my heart sing and keep open to opportunities. So I decided to go back to the mountains, shoved some proverbial career irons in the fire and let life take its course. Having applied late, I wasn’t very hopeful – then I got offered not one, but two jobs in Japan. I had one of those life moments where everything just falls into place to make something happen. Within 2 weeks, I had a job, booked my flight, let my flat out and got my visa. Fate? Wu wei wu? Chance? Does it matter – I’m off to a land with an average of 15m of snow each season! A land of bonsai, sushi, origami, cherry blossoms – all things I love – and finally getting the motivation to learn the language. Rock on. Sugoi desu ne?

What happens after the season? Who knows, we’ll see what the winds bring me, all I know is that I feel like I’m back on the right path for me, wherever it may lead.

Wow. So, I’ve started my MA in Sustainable Enterprise and one of the things I wanted to do was write a blog of the experience and my personal journey through it. I’m now three days in and my head feels like it’s about to explode.

I’ve got so much to say, but I’m just not sure how to express it in a readable way! I guess starting from the start is a good way. So the MA is run through Coventry University’s Applied Research Centre for Human Security. What is human security I hear you ask? Good question – I won’t give an academic answer, but I guess it’s about an approach to global security that focusses on individuals rather than nation states. So instead of security being about maintaining your borders and repelling invaders, it’s about individuals’ sense of security and well-being. Freedom from fear, access to resources – the room to grow and develop as a human being.

The course itself is looking at the role of enterprise (any sort of organisation, be it business, charity, NGO or government) in human security and sustainability. It’s hard to summarise in a short sentence, and I’m eager to blurt out what’s rattling round my brain, I guess at it’s core is a question about the relative roles and responsibilities of government, business and civil society. It’s about understanding what sustainable enterprise is and what a sustainable enterprise economy looks like.

I think that’s enough of an intro, I apologise that it’s not particularly thorough and it’s not meant to be a comprehensive explanation, just a brief blurb off the top of my head. Anyways, so I’m here with some amazing people with really diverse backgrounds and approaches to life. It’s fantastic to be involved in this with these people. One of the things that Malcolm (McIntosh, who heads up ARCHS) and his team have adopted is a conversational learning approach, where we share in the co-creation of knowledge and understanding. In plain English – we talk about stuff and through it we learn and about each other and ourselves.

I’m here as part of my journey and general existential angst. I guess I’ve been interested in lots of this stuff for a while and the approach they’re adopting here, I guess 3 things in particular are unique to this course and perfect for me:

• A transdisciplinary approach to issues of globalisation, sustainability and social justice
• Complexity – seeing the world as a complex adaptive system
• An approach of creating knowledge through letting things go, through non-directed, conversational learning. One could call it the Tao

It’s been phenomenal to be immersed in this world with such creative and diverse people and really get my teeth into so many of these issues. I’ve been waiting a long time for this and finally feel armed enough to really get stuck in.

So many thoughts and ideas, I can’t really do them justice here. I guess they’ll fall out of my head into this blog over time, but just to try and capture some.

What does it mean to be human? One of the core themes that keep re-appearing is that of “what it means to be human”. Instinctively this means connections and the desire to connect – with each other, with our environment and ourself. It’s also about the ability to choose. Between positive and negative. I’m really interested in exploring this question and in particular about the role of energy in what it means to be human.

Complexity and Buddhist economics Another thought was about seeing sustainable enterprise as being about the long-term future of an organisation, enabling it to continue what it does ad infinitum and then taking Schumacher’s buddhist economics and asking – what if the role of corporations is to provide meaningful work? And progress was about doing thing better but not necessarily bigger. What world the world look like if we all enjoyed work and were truly content with it? Wouldn’t that create productivity, creativity and innovation? So, what if we saw sustainable enterprise as:

• creating work that people enjoy
• within planetary limits
• as a complex adaptive system that is organisationally closed, but energetically open?

The Black Gold Market We’ve just watched Black Gold, a fascinating documentary about the inequities and complexities of the global coffee market. One of the key points was about how low the coffee price was and how it is determined by New York traders. It got me thinking – why is the price so low? I’d be really interested to take my experience and knowledge of the emissions trading market and investigate coffee. What are the price fundamentals and what’s driving the low? How could farmers engage in the market (directly or indirectly) to influence it?

Action research as an instrument of change Coventry Uni is building a new climate change institute. ARCHS have tried to engage with them to get them to build it sustainably, using all the skills on offer at the Uni. They’ve not been able to convince the Uni to do so for a whole host of complex reasons – what are they? Are they perceived or real? How could they be overcome? What role do individuals and individual attitudes have to play in this? Could I achieve change by asking these research questions?

Thai synchronicity In another great example of synchronicity and serendipity – I’m off to Thailand (courtesy of my cousin Chris) to explore opportunities out there. Given their proximity to and relationship with Myanmar/Burma and the complexity of corporate citizenship in that context, it would be fascinating to look into that in more detail. What approach do supra-territorial corporations take to corporate citizenship in Thailand? What role do they have in terms of how Thailand engages with the Myanmar/Burma situation? What role do Thai businesses take in that? How does all of that relate to the inter-governmental relationship? A great opportunity to explore that and engage in a conversational grounded theory approach.

So you can see, my brain hurts. All these thoughts have been milling round in my head somewhere and now is suddenly the right time for them to bloom. I need to nurture and grow them until I can pick the right one and then work with it so that it can express its full self.

Wow. I’ve arrived, and in entertaining fashion! I’ve had the most amazing and fun day ever today, somehow the universe has conspired to get me here and I’m very grateful for it.

So, I rocked up at the airport nice and early, asked to get on a standby flight and was told that I needed 17 no-shows if I was to stand a chance. Determined not to despair, I smiled politely and wandered off muttering “I will get on this flight, I will get on this flight”.

At check-in, my snowboard bag was way overweight and they said I couldn’t take it on the plane. After much pleading and patience, a lovely lady called Yvonne eventually let me repack another bag and pay an excess fee. Problem was, I didn’t have another bag, so off I ran to buy a new one.

Anyways, I had to wait around for an hour to find out if I could get a seat. Somehow, I got the last seat on the flight and went racing off to pay my departure fee and clear security. It took forever cos you get checked 3 times and the whole way I was checking my watch. So as I cleared security (having had my lip balm confiscated!) there were only a few minutes left, so I raced to an internet machine, emailed Jen to let her know and booked myself on a flight from LA to Denver – the same one as Jen! I got to the gate and fortunately, the flight was delayed, which meant I could get on it. I have never been so happy to be on a plane!

The flight was late coming into LA, which meant that I had an hour to get my next flight – so I raced round the airport and was first in line at immigration (never had that before!), only to have to wait an hour for my bags! So I missed the flight by about a minute. Damn.

But Qantas rebooked me on the next flight for free and waived the excess baggage fee for me – they even gave me $15 to buy food with (I’ll still never fly with them again!). So, Jen had no idea I was coming and neither did Ann and Gordon (Amy’s parents – who were picking Jen up). I had no idea what I was going to do in Denver and I couldn’t get hold of Ann or Gordon. So I rang my mum and asked her to email Jen to let her know and then jumped on the flight.

Hanging around meant that I met a few snow bum types and got chatting with Andy – a kiwi originally, but is now a permanent resident in Vail of all places. We ended up on the same flight and sat next to each other, gassing all the way. I was talking about what I was going to do when I arrived and he said “No worries! My friend Allie’s picking me up, she’ll drop you in Boulder on the way” – the kindness of strangers never ceases to impress!

In the end it all worked out, cos Allie let me call and I managed to get hold of Gordon. Allie dropped me at a gas station, where Gordon was waiting with Jen!

So there we are – am now safely here, with all my bags and my hair intact, in a lovely house in Colorado! The sun has set on our time in New Zealand, but winter has only just begun in the States!